Information taken from: http://technorati.com/lifestyle/article/diversity-tolerance-through-communication-part-1/
There are many controversies currently happening around us, including the Arizona Immigration law, racial profiling, the Cordoba Mosque and the Dove movement, that inspired me to share some peaceful thoughts, and not get into the debate of who is right and who is wrong or even take sides. Hopefully, I'll be able to start a healthy dialog.
The US is a great country - if not the greatest; the founding fathers built it on the spirit of human rights, tolerance, and acceptance of all differences. The US is built on diversity, on a combination of flavors to strengthen the foundation of this country, one flavor enhances the other.
One doesn’t have to agree or like everyone, but one has to treat everyone and every person with respect and equality.What someone thinks is their business, how they act it out is what is important as it concerns others. Having flexibility to integrate is what will get us all to the safe side of the river.
Prejudice is a natural human reaction, we all have distrust and fear from people that don’t look like us or are different from ourselves. Confronting our belief system and find our biases becomes crucial so we can make smart choices about our behavior. Healthy conflicts bring positive changes, effective communications provide safe environment to discuss conflicts and differences. Effective communications creates tolerance, which creates acceptance and respect; both are key solutions to most of our problems.
When people are asked what they think represents difficult communications with others, the answers include:
People that get angry for no reason
People with heavy accents
People that talk all the time and don’t listen
People that listen to us - then re-arrange our words the way they want to understand them
People that always think they are right
People with egos
People that are indirect.
People assume that people that are different from them either by color, age, race, religion, gender, political views are difficult to communicate with, and this is where the communications’ barriers start erecting.
Just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean that we understand each other, perhaps because of factors like where or the way we grew up, the kind of work we do, or our ethnicity, religion and language origin.
But we can effectively communicate and bridge the gaps to a diverse world, and better understand and respect each other words, feelings, thoughts and actions. Effective communication has many forms; the most practical forms are dialog and debate.
Dialog is a collection of skills we communicate with to develop understanding and trust. Dialog is conducted between two people, or a group of people. Dialog is a non judgmental, two-way conversation. It is about putting ourselves in the other person's shoes and trying to feel how they feel. It is about developing sets of shared assumptions to use as a foundation to work together to find a way to agree in a non combative way.
While in a debate, we try to win. We concentrate on the weakness of our opponent, on what is wrong with their argument, to prove why our position is right. In a debate we stand our ground, defend our point of view and criticize other perspectives. The goal is to win, but at the end no one really wins.
It is important to understand the difference between dialog that respects both sides, and debate where the belief is that only one opinion is right, and of course it is ours.
In a perfect diverse world, people develop strong opinions. Let their feelings emerge through the process of dialog, but not in a way to cause conflict or in a way to prevent moving forward.
Hmmm....What do you think? Ponder on this statement, "Just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean that we understand each other, perhaps because of factors like where or the way we grew up, the kind of work we do, or our ethnicity, religion and language origin. But we can effectively communicate and bridge the gaps to a diverse world, and better understand and respect each other words, feelings, thoughts and actions. Effective communication has many forms; the most practical forms are dialog and debate."
Read more: http://technorati.com/lifestyle/article/diversity-tolerance-through-communication-part-1/#ixzz16of8QvT4
I agree that we don’t all speak the same language different cultures and places within our country have different meanings. I believe it has a lot to do with where and who we grew up with. That is the way we learn the majority of things. I think we have to communicate effectively to bridge the gap because many times we see a person and think that they are rude or mean on how they look, but in actuality when you talk to them they are very nice. I think dialog is more effective than debate, though. When you think of debates it’s more someone trying to dominate and win, like stated earlier. Debates are more about who is right and who is wrong whereas a dialog is more personal and less of a competition. Like in a presidential debate, the candidates are trying to outdo the others and show how they are the better choice instead of collaborating to solve issues together. I know the debate is staged to be like that but it still makes debates feel more like competitions. I think dialogs are more effective to bridge the gap.
ReplyDeleteI definitely believe that where we grew up and how we grew up play a role in what we do and who we are. I think that everyone is different and even though we speak the same language we still will have our differences because not everyone thinks the exact same way, that would be impossible. Also, bridging the gaps would be a difficult task to take on because most people judge a book by its cover. If we can, as a whole, learn not to do this I believe that those gaps can be fixed. Communicating effectively would be something that would help this task. If we stopped judging a book by the cover and actually talk to the person and get to know them, I think it would take us one step closer to closing the gaps. To me, dialog seems like it would be the most effective way to communicate. A debate is based more on arguing and trying to either prove your point, or bash the other person. Dialog is “non-judgmental,” as stated above, and is just a more calm way to talk to someone. You are being more empathetic and actually would care how the other person is feeling. So overall, I believe that to bridge the gap we need to not only stop judging a book by the cover, but think about what we say and what we do and think about how the other person would feel.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the statement of everyone speaks the same language but we still do not understand each other. We all can speak our own language and still not understand each other but we all use language in our own seperate manner which creates the difficulty of understanding everyone instead of just guessing. Usally people are out for themselves and are in it to "win". Effective communication would solve many problems but it is trying to find the willingness in people to make it happen. Dialog and debate are two ways of communication but I see one as very inefficent and ineffective because it has the point of some one coming out on top while putting another persons perspectiver down. Dialog is a great way to communicate but I feel like it still isn't effective in the world.
ReplyDeleteI think that all of those factors are important in determining the way we communicate with people. For instance, I grew up in the Midwest. I do not hear accents from the people I grew up with but people who grew up in the south may hear my “normal” voice with an accent. Not that a southerner or northerner cannot understand one another, but regional dialects can be a point of tension sometimes between people of different origins. I never consider any of the people on nationally watched television shows to have accents. This seems normal to us but what about people watching in the south? Do they always hear the Midwestern accent? Or is it just normal? Do they think they have accents? I guess I’m not sure.
ReplyDeleteI think the easiest way to have understanding for someone who is different than you is to have exposure to that person in some kind of setting that allows for effective communication; maybe in a group discussing cultural practices. Discussing is the key. As soon as it becomes a debate, people stop listening and start focusing on their idea and how it is better. Especially when it comes to touchy topics like ethnicity and religion, if it is an argument nothing is accomplished. If it is a discussion, people can talk in a civil manner about their beliefs and gain a further understanding of others.
Chris,
ReplyDeleteI agree that dialog is more useful in bridging the gap in understanding and communication. I find it interesting that debate is more of a competition and is used as a tool by opposing politicians to outdo eachother. I like your idea that they should re-direct their energy to collaborate ideas to solve issues.
I agree with this statement. We all may speak the same language but we did grow up in different places and in different ways. Everything around us has definitely influenced the way we think and the way we act. These things affect the way we communicate with others and how well we understand them. We were brought up a certain way and that’s how we are. Some people are more open than others and are better communicators. If we are open it turns the conversation into a dialog instead of a debate. I think dialog is a much more effective way of communication. If more people had more dialog rather than debate, there wouldn’t be as big of a gap. I think debate opens it up more. It’s not really listening to the other person. You're arguing against each other and trying to win. You try to prove that you and your opinion are better than the other persons.
ReplyDeleteBeth,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on how dialog is better in bridging the gap. I think dialog involes more listening and giving feedback like you said. I also like your comment on how some people are more open than others. I think that adds to how the communication is and how succesful it is.
It is hard to agrue that two people who both speak English speak a different language, but when it relates to how we communicate with each other it is possible to say those two people dont understand each other at all. Not only do factors such as body language and tone affect how we understand each other there are also biases or filters we all have when listening to one another. In most cases when you are listening to someone you already have a predetermined judgment on who that person is and that judgement affects how you interpret what they say. For example I may be speaking to a person with ADD and I dismiss his ideas immediately because in my mind I think that he has a learning disability so it couldnt be a good idea. These filters that we have apply not only to race, gender, those with disablities, but also people with strong personalities and labeled stereotypes. I might not listen to a "nerd" about a sports game or a "jock" about my math homeword. The advice they are giving me could be great but because I have this prior idea of who they really are I dismiss it. It is up to us as an upcoming generation to elminate these filters between people and start to really listen and understand.
ReplyDeleteSyndney G,
ReplyDeleteI like your argument about how where we grow up affects how we communicate. Its true because the culture in the United States differs so much from area to area that it creates a very diverse people. Also how our parents raised us affects how we communicate becauase we are like sponges when we are children and we trust are parents biases and have no reason to question them at a young age.
Angie,
ReplyDeleteI like how you said we use language in our own seperate mannor. It is true that it is human nature to be selfish and only look out for ones self. But that creates poor communication if we cannot look for the best interests for everyone then we ourselves are bound to fail. So even if you do have a selfish motive you can be presuaded to work together not only for the greater good but for your own personal gain.
I agree that just because we may speak the same language, does not mean that we understand each other. Language is based on more than just words, it is greatly influenced by our body language and the way we say things. Where we grow up also influences how we communicate with each other. Because America is so diverse, there are people of many different cultures that live here. Although the majority of us speak English, different accents can make understanding each other more difficult. People have to make an effort to communicate effectively and understand other people’s perspectives and what they are trying to say.
ReplyDeleteSydney G,
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you said about how we should get to know someone before judging them. Communicating is more effective if you don't judge someone based on their appearance or culture. I agree with your comment about how dialogue is supposed to be "non-judgemental" and how we should care about others, and make an effort to understand where people are coming from when having a conversation with them.
Understanding and effective communicating is directly affected by where we grew up, what kind of work we do, ethnicity, and religion. However, being able to communicate with anyone effectively is always in our hands. If someone is different than us in any way than it is up to us to accept that fact and work with it. No matter what the person may look or sound like we should be attentive, responsive, and respectful to that person regardless of the topic. Not only will acting like this make you a more effective communicator as a whole but it will also ensure that you are a much more respected member of society. Setting aside what you believe and acting appropriately for a situation can make a whole world of difference. I think acting is the most important tool for effective communication. Many people are already doing this but to highlight themselves in a negative way. If you don't have anything good to say about someone then put on a facade of kindness and avoid a potential argument. Whether we like it or not we are all actors but the ball is in our court when it comes to how we want to be seen by other people.
ReplyDeleteRyan,
ReplyDeleteI like what you said about group discussion being the key to understanding others. Peoples beliefs and viewpoints on different things are brought out in a discussion which allows a healthy environment to express each others ideals. This form of communicating can help reshape your opinion about someone and could be the beginning of a solid relationship.
It seems that everyone agrees that it is true that, just because we speak the same language does not mean we understand each other. Id have to join that agreement. Language, or words, aren't the only thing that is alway misinterpreted amongst all the diverse people of this world. The biggest factor I would have to say, that keeps us from bridging the gap, is body language. It is the most important factor in communication, and the most commonly misinterpreted form of communication. But it can be difficult due to the fact that most people don't even notice certain body actions they make when conversing or communicating with others; to them, its probably normal to roll their eyes, or make facial gestures when talking. Everyone see's and interprets everything differently, which is what people fail to realize. That failure to realize is the failure to bridge the gap between the two entirely different worlds of two entirely different people. But for all we know, that entirely different person whom you despise because of their differences, could quite possibly be the greatest friend to you in reality.
ReplyDeleteThere is no point in debating or arguing anybody's opinion or side of a certain subject. Everyone needs to just passively disagree, without leaving a scar on the person for something you might have said. Let them believe what they wish and you keep your opinion to yourself just to avoid conflict. People hate being "fake", but your intentions are simply to be kind and avoid any negative confrontation.
Sydney G.,
ReplyDeleteI like what you said about, how everyone needs to think about their words and actions before they make any confrontation. Whether it be a negative or positive confrontation, words and body language can quickly become misinterpreted all because words and actions weren't thought through before hand. As I was growing up, my father would always tell me to think about my words before I spoke, and he wouldn't speak to me until I had my thoughts in line. It taught me exactly what you are talking about, to watch every word that I use, and to watch every action I make. I completely agree.
Tim,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your comment about the result of being respectful and an effective communicater."Not only will acting like this make you a more effective communicator as a whole but it will also ensure that you are a much more respected member of society." I totally agree with this. This is so true!
I think that dialog is definitely the better way of communicating, although there are times for debates. The one thing that I did not agree with was that debates never actually have a winning side. When I look at politics they are communicating to their country in effort to get elected. One side has to win otherwise we wouldn’t have only one president. I also think the statement above is understandable. We all do speak the same language, English, but we may not understand they way people are speaking it, supporting all of the examples given. The way we are brought up has a huge influence along with our religions, and language origin. I also agree with effective communication having the two forms of dialog and debate. Dialog I feel like is more of a process of talking and listening. It isn’t all about you and what your opinions are, but instead it is about all sides of the story. I was brought up to debate. I was taught to form opinions and that’s what I stick with. Trying to communicate with another person, who is also a person who likes to debate, can at times be difficult. It is hard to tell myself that this person is trying to tell me something, and that what they tell me could alter my opinion.
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you added that body language is affecting communication. I didn't think of that when I was reading about dialog and debate. It made me kind of realize that the communication of a dialog is more likely to be a conversation. A debate on the other hand could probably be something both sides look annoyed and uninterested in what the other has to say. I now am going to be more conscious when I am debating with someone to make sure I don’t come across that way.
I think that we all have different languages and meaning according to where you are from and what you and your family believe in. Our family is where we inherit all of our beliefs and also how you speak and act. Even though we speak the same language and may act the same way doesn’t mean that we understand each other when we are communicating between each other. Everyone in the world has different personalities and traits which makes them different from other and that may be a factor when communicating and understanding other individuals. Bridging the gap could be a difficult task because many people don’t give someone a chance to introduce themselves and get to know them rather they just look at them a judge them to a point that they don’t want to meet them. Dialog and debate are very different because debate is the question between who is right or wrong and dialog is more important to a person and more personal towards the individual and less of a competition between people.
ReplyDeleteI agree and think even though we speak the same language we still don't understand each other a lot of the time. Where we grew up and who brought us up has a lot to do with that. Also our body language and non verbal communication can cause barriers and change the way someone perceives what we are trying to say. I agree too that with effective communication we can fix the ineffective communication in our society. If everyone just was themselves and was respectful and understand of others, we could communicate a lot better. As for debate vs dialogue, I think dialogue is a better way of communicating. Debate sort of has a negative connotation to it, and dialogue sounds more equal. The objective of communication shouldn't be to win, it should be to understand the other person you are communicating with.
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI too think communication has widely to do with body language, and also I like how you said different accents can greatly affect it. I completely agree with you!
I think communication today is actually a very poor. There is a lot more diversity in schools and at work and just in general. Like the blog says people stereotype and judge without knowing someone or what their beliefs are. Our language is based on a lot more than just the words that we say. Recently in my human communications class we were talking about how important nonverbal communication is. People are ALWAYS communicating whether they know it or not, and messages get mixed up and confused ALL the time because of this. With poor communication I think the main problem is that people assume things about each other too often. We try putting words into other people’s mouths when we don’t agree with what they are saying. But, it is something that I think we can all get better at and the way I see it I think our country is getting better at it. Communication is something that I find interesting because there are so many different things that we all do that we are not even aware of and it is just really fun to learn about them and try to recognize them. Yeah that’s all I got for now.
ReplyDeletekelsey,
ReplyDeleteI agree that our nonverbal body language can serve as barriers. These are things that we do more often then we realize, therefore sometimes we are creating barriers between ourselves and others without even realizing it.
I think a lot of the misunderstanding in the world comes from not a complete different language barrier but language barriers within our own language. as we have talked about the majority of the communication we do is through body language. people interpret things differently like we may not actually be mad but people may interpret the way we are acting or our facial expressions as being mad. the language itself and being able to relate to one another is also a barrier. There are so many ways that people have grown up, and some people have gone through things that others can’t imagine so it does make it at times hard to relate to someone. I think it all comes down to being able to accept someone for who they are. When you accept someone you are open to their ideas and beliefs and that is when I think the gaps are filled are bonds are formed. Personally for me, my friends and I we come from different places, grew up really differently, and different religions and ethnicities but after getting to know each other, sharing and understanding each of what makes us who we are friendships were formed that I don’t think could ever be broken.
ReplyDeleteTim,
ReplyDeleteI like how you said communicating effectively is in our hands and that we have to accept people. I think that's absolutely true. Just because we might not like a person for some reason, doesn't mean they don't deserve to be listened to. We should still give let them voice their opinion and respect it.
Communication takes many forms and is not limited to vocalizing thoughts through dialogue and debate. Non-verbals sometimes can say more than words, such as avoiding eye contact or avoiding all verbal conversations. Though in order to better understand where a person is coming from, or when trying to understand how they're thinking, dialogue is probably the best method. However, the factors that may hinder a dialogue, (upbringing and culture), should not be what stops the conversation. I think that it's important, if one cannot understand anything that comes from the other person,to verbalize that you don't understand. Hopefully then the conversation could continue on simplified basis. The link to this article further explains how to "do" effective communication: http://www.umext.maine.edu/onlinepubs/pdfpubs/6103.pdf
ReplyDeleteLaura,
ReplyDeleteI agree that we have to make an effort. I think if more people had that mind-set, there wouldn't even be an issue about tolerance, simply because it would be completely understood that everyone is different, and that we generally accept everyone as they are.
Brooke,
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you said that communication today is actually very poor. I also agree that people don't understand that they are communicating all of the time whether or not they are speaking. The nonverbal actions speak just as loud as their words would. I also agree with what you said about people putting words into other people's mouths. I never really thought of it that way before, and I fully agree with you!
Tim,
ReplyDeleteI like how you said that being able to communicate effectively is always in our hands. It is our responsibility to take the initiative to break the communication barrier. A lot of people won’t do that because it seems to be easier to blame something on another person, or that it is inconvenient and that someone else will do it instead of taking it into your own hands.
I agree that even when the language barrier is broken, that there are so many other barriers that must be overcome in addition if we want to be effective communicators. Diversity in our backgrounds, race, ethnicity, religion, values, and interests, which should be viewed as a positive thing, is one of the biggest of these barriers. Our ignorance of people who appear different than us combined with our human nature of being judgmental creates an atmosphere in which effective communication is nearly impossible. If we can learn to recognize and acknowledge our ignorance and judgmental nature, rather than pretending it’s not there and ignoring it, we can have a better chance to engage ourselves in productive dialogs and debates, ultimately improving our communication skills.
ReplyDeleteNicole,
ReplyDeleteI like how you brought up the idea of body language. We all give it off, and we all interpret others’, whether we are conscientious of it or not. If you think about it, it plays a big role in our communication process. The fact that people may interpret certain body language in different ways, depending on how they were raised, could possibly cause communication to break down if we rely on those body language cues to heavily.
I as it as everybody speaks their own language. We are the only ones who truly understand us right? So it doesn't matter what language anyone speaks because we are all different and we all communicate different. Sometimes I may say something that makes complete sense to me but may sound offensive to someone else. I didn't mean it that way, but the person just heard it differently. I believe that this would be a perfect example of a language barrier between two people who speak the same language.
ReplyDeleteIf someone speaks a different language, we are more aware of what we say we take the different culture into account. However, if someone looks and sounds the same as us we immediately drop the act and loose our filter. Most often, we don't even notice it either. Prejudice is just something that has to get dealt with. It can't really be fixed.
Ashley,
ReplyDeleteI agree, visual can definitely make or break many first impressions. Some people get very annoyed when there is lack of eye contact. Or even too much. They don't understand that the persons' culture differs from theirs. I almost think that emailing would be better for some people who have visual prejudice.
Culture and background mean a lot to us. Even if we don’t realize it, our background plays a very important role on how we perceive things and communicate with others. I don’t think that just because we speak the same language we can understand each other better but I do think that our cultural background teaches us to think in a certain way which means that we will be able to connect better with the people from a similar background. For instance, our cultural backgrounds will teach us to value certain things and often, people from different cultures value different things. Hence, it becomes easier for people to connect with people from the same background. Ethnicity and religion are a part of our cultural heritage, which once again, teaches us certain values which allows us to connect better with the people of our own background. However, if we take time to observe and learn, and be aware of the differences in cultures, we can understand the values and beliefs of people from different cultures and become “globalized citizens” and eventually bridge the gaps to a diverse world. I grew up in an international boarding school in the Himalayas. Along with me were many other students from all over the world. As we grew up and shared and roomed together, we got to understand each other better and learn about their cultures. I feel that I can connect better with my friend from Korea who lives in Madagascar than I can with my own brother. So this proves to me that it is not necessary that we can only understand people from our own ethnicity and background even though very often it is very true.
ReplyDelete