Information taken from: http://technorati.com/lifestyle/article/diversity-tolerance-through-communication-part-1/
There are many controversies currently happening around us, including the Arizona Immigration law, racial profiling, the Cordoba Mosque and the Dove movement, that inspired me to share some peaceful thoughts, and not get into the debate of who is right and who is wrong or even take sides. Hopefully, I'll be able to start a healthy dialog.
The US is a great country - if not the greatest; the founding fathers built it on the spirit of human rights, tolerance, and acceptance of all differences. The US is built on diversity, on a combination of flavors to strengthen the foundation of this country, one flavor enhances the other.
One doesn’t have to agree or like everyone, but one has to treat everyone and every person with respect and equality.What someone thinks is their business, how they act it out is what is important as it concerns others. Having flexibility to integrate is what will get us all to the safe side of the river.
Prejudice is a natural human reaction, we all have distrust and fear from people that don’t look like us or are different from ourselves. Confronting our belief system and find our biases becomes crucial so we can make smart choices about our behavior. Healthy conflicts bring positive changes, effective communications provide safe environment to discuss conflicts and differences. Effective communications creates tolerance, which creates acceptance and respect; both are key solutions to most of our problems.
When people are asked what they think represents difficult communications with others, the answers include:
People that get angry for no reason
People with heavy accents
People that talk all the time and don’t listen
People that listen to us - then re-arrange our words the way they want to understand them
People that always think they are right
People with egos
People that are indirect.
People assume that people that are different from them either by color, age, race, religion, gender, political views are difficult to communicate with, and this is where the communications’ barriers start erecting.
Just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean that we understand each other, perhaps because of factors like where or the way we grew up, the kind of work we do, or our ethnicity, religion and language origin.
But we can effectively communicate and bridge the gaps to a diverse world, and better understand and respect each other words, feelings, thoughts and actions. Effective communication has many forms; the most practical forms are dialog and debate.
Dialog is a collection of skills we communicate with to develop understanding and trust. Dialog is conducted between two people, or a group of people. Dialog is a non judgmental, two-way conversation. It is about putting ourselves in the other person's shoes and trying to feel how they feel. It is about developing sets of shared assumptions to use as a foundation to work together to find a way to agree in a non combative way.
While in a debate, we try to win. We concentrate on the weakness of our opponent, on what is wrong with their argument, to prove why our position is right. In a debate we stand our ground, defend our point of view and criticize other perspectives. The goal is to win, but at the end no one really wins.
It is important to understand the difference between dialog that respects both sides, and debate where the belief is that only one opinion is right, and of course it is ours.
In a perfect diverse world, people develop strong opinions. Let their feelings emerge through the process of dialog, but not in a way to cause conflict or in a way to prevent moving forward.
Hmmm....What do you think? Ponder on this statement, "Just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean that we understand each other, perhaps because of factors like where or the way we grew up, the kind of work we do, or our ethnicity, religion and language origin. But we can effectively communicate and bridge the gaps to a diverse world, and better understand and respect each other words, feelings, thoughts and actions. Effective communication has many forms; the most practical forms are dialog and debate."
What does this mean to you? What can you do to show tolerance in your communication? keep in mind just because something doesn't offend you doesn't mean it doesn't offend someone else. Regardless of our intentions, people are offended and hurt all the time.
To me, this means acceptance. Even though we all have different “flavors”, these flavors can enhance our own in various ways from growing, maturing, learning, and accepting. If we can accept one another we can then learn to better understand each other and bridge those gaps. Communication is the key to succeeding in everything from relationships to friendships to work and everything in between on a variety of levels. Then, if we can go on from accepting and understanding, we can move on to acting on those values and building relationships with those different from us by using dialog and debate.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I do my best to avoid debates at all costs, I do believe that it makes way for better understanding within people because it brings different perspectives all towards one topic. It allows people to see that there are other sides to every story and that there are reasons why people believe what they believe. Dialog, on the other hand, lets us free of debate and just makes room for conversation. With dialog we can share our similarities and likes which is a great way to build relationships and socialize.
I see it as a pot of soup, and in that soup are tons of flavors that enhance one another and make the soup better. If we can learn to see the differences, accept them, learn from them, and act on them, we can truly make this world a perfectly diverse one. This can only be done through effective communication and it takes each and every one of us to do this in order to achieve tolerance.
Marissa,
ReplyDeleteI can relate to what you mean by “not intentionally trying to hurt someone”. I don’t think that as humans, although there are exceptions, that we try and intentionally hurt one another. Both sides are trying to help each other by not offending but may end up doing it anyway. Misunderstandings occur all the time in dialog and debate, and even though we speak the same language doesn’t mean that we aren’t hurting them. Some people may say “no offense” but may end up offending that person, mostly because they aren’t aware of people’s culture and background. I recollect countless times when curious people will ask me about my deaf parents, and their questions almost always begin with “no offense”. And from time to time the questions do offend me. But it’s not like they are intending to, and we have to realize that they too have culture and that misunderstanding is inevitable. We cannot know everything about every culture. What we can do is open our minds and accept that fact. Then we can learn from different cultures and make the margin for error smaller and smaller.
The statement about communication either being debate or dialog is such a good explanation to show that people can choose to be accepting of others or choose not to be. Many times, people are quick to go on the defensive and talk solely about their own beliefs and how they are correct. To someone with different beliefs or ideas, they don’t seem very accepting. Instead of showing everyone how our own ideas are they only thing to believe, we have to step back and take others’ opinions into consideration. In doing this, it’s important to remember that even though we may not have the same thoughts, we have to keep an open mind. In addition, we have to watch what we say, and think about how other people might interpret it. We may not mean to offend anyone, but as it said in the reading, it happens more often that we think. What we say and how we say it can really effect how people react. Some may brush off an offensive comment and ignore it, but ignoring isn’t dialogue. Talking about differences in opinion is the only way we are going to make strides to becoming more accepting and respectful.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree where you said that sometimes we may unintenionally offend someone, even though we may not realize it. I know that sometimes I can come off as a bit cold towards people and it is all because of my unintentional body language. I don't try to do this, but sometimes it happens, and some people think that I am mad at them or don't want to talk to them. This is definately not the case like 99.9% of the time. This is an example of how sometimes unintentional actions can lead to a bigger problem and people getting offended. In these cases, communication is really important. It can clear up confusions had between people, and help save relationships. Just communicate with the person you think is mad at you, and you might find it has been a big misunderstanding. Communication is so important in our society now, and more often than not, people choose to forget communication and make their own assumptions.
DeleteJake,
ReplyDeleteI thought it was interesting that you mentioned that even though we can give people attention and listen to what they’re saying that we have already formed opinions about them. In class, I was surprised to hear that first impressions only take three seconds to set in. That’s a really short amount of time to jump to conclusions, and definitely not enough time to get to know someone. You also talked about several communication methods that would improve dialogue. Each of the suggestions you made would greatly improve communication and would show more acceptance and interest in a conversation. Not giving someone your full attention, or getting on the defensive can make a conversation seem more like a debate instead of dialogue.
I believe the statement means that we are all different, not just in culture, ethnicity, or language origin, but EVERYTHING! None of us are the same in anyway. Similarities? Maybe but what we like, know or believe is different. Even how we speak is one of a kind. But its not bad at all! In fact its a great thing to be different. By being different, we can interact with one another to learn what they like, know, or believe and why. But someone in the world could be offended just by the way you speak, interpret things, and/or what you do. It what makes us diverse in this world.
ReplyDeleteLearning about others is the way we learn and grow in the world and education of diversity. In order to learn, we must put our beliefs aside to make room for who you are interacting with. This way you wont try and compare yours with theirs (Which we learned in class).
The quote, to me, means that we all have our differences, regardless of our upbringings or beliefs. It is how we react to these differences that matters. In order to coexist effectively we must be open-minded and respectful of others, though their beliefs or values may be different than our own. Truly listening to what others have to say, with an open mind, can help us better understand where they are coming from and respect their differences. Also we must make an effort to be conscious of the feelings of others when we say things because, like the teacher mentioned in class, things that may not personally offend you can be offensive to others. I believe this is part of being respectful, which I mentioned earlier in this post.
ReplyDeletePaul,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with what you had to say about showing tolerance in communication. Though you don't have to entirely agree with someone, it is better to really hear them out and try to come to some sort of agreement than to completely put their opinion aside and accept it as false. I also agree that we must recognize their differences before judging their opinions.
In my opinion, the statement means exactly what it says: we are all different, have different opinions about issues, and may not agree with what other people say or think. It is important to understand that it is inate in human nature to judge someone instantly upon meeting them: either a good or bad impression. This can prevent good friendships from happening. It is sad that people judge others and keep a very closemind perception of them. Communication can help bridge those gaps in misconceptions. The key concept of the statement is how important good, effective communication is in the world. If we, as human beings, learn to more effectively communicate with people who are different than us, we can learn a thing or two about who they are and what their values are. This can be an important tool to help become more accepting of people, so that we can learn to respect them for who they are.
ReplyDeleteFor me, to show tolerance through communication, should include maintaining eye contact and being genuinely active in the conversation:show that you care what they are saying, listen(don't interrupt!), and ask questions. I know that when I talk to someone, I always feel better when someone seems to care about what I have to say and are actively engaged in the conversation. It makes me feel like I have something important to contribute because they are listening to waht I have to say. Even if you are not friends, tolerance can start with a simple exchange of "how was your day?" Again the little things can make a huge impact. From this, we can learn new things about people that we may not have known about someone before. A quote I once heard really sums up what I am trying to say: "Tolerance can lead to learning something". Keep an open mind and you might just make a new friend!
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ReplyDeleteI believe that this means that even though we speak the same language, it does not mean everyone has the same views on everything. People I know have been having conversations on the phone and each person is talking about different things without the other realizing it. To show tolerance in my communication, I try my best to hear out the entire argument or whole story before starting to judge their opinion. As a listener I try to be patient for as long as I possibly can before quitting the conversations. I believe that being able to show tolerance while in conversations with others is a great way to show respect for others and a great way to continue to show dignity.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion I think that we should be tolerant,respectful and open minded toward people when they are talking to us . Even if we dont like there point of view we should be respectful about it . This is the first step toward dignity.
ReplyDeleteI can really understand when you talk about everyone judging so much in the first couple weeks of college. Everyone has missed many lifetimes of freindships because of their judgement. I have known multiple people that I would have never expected to be friends with because of how everyone judges each other. You make a great point when you bring up how hard it is to show tolerance when talking to others.
ReplyDeleteFrom my experiences from the last 24 hours, I am taking this way differently than I normally would. About 27 hours ago, a 16 year-old girl from my town was t-boned on the highway and was airlifted to Duluth to undergo major surgery. She lived until about 3 A.M. this morning. Normally, I would have talked about how we all need to work together and that is way harder said than done. But, unfortunately, once again tragedy has struck Virginia/Eveleth/Hibbing Minnesota. In the last 2 years, almost to the day, all three towns have lost 4 beautiful girls to car accidents. And once again, the communities have come together. And the most surprising part is it's mostly the high schoolers. We are all get angry for no reason, have egos and think that we are always right. Between the 3 schools, there is so much attitude and fights because we are "rivals". We could have our own reality TV series and not need producers paying us to do stuff to make the show better. But, with every single tragedy, the towns have come together and become a family. I logged onto my Twitter and Facebook accounts today, and every single tweet, status, picture and comment had #prayforHannah after it. And after she passed, it was #RIPHannah or #wearingblueforHannah or something else along that line. How does this fit in with this weeks discussion? Monica was asking if we can bridge the gap the bridge to a diverse world and I believe it is possible. I saw football players who were beating the crap out of each other reach out to to make sure they were okay. I saw girls who have called eachother more mean things than Mean Girls crying and hugging together. This brought out so much dignity in every single student. Our school's "hate" eachother. I believe, and these tragic incidences prove, that we can come together and be a truely diverse, accepting culture. The Iron Range all came together for a higher being today. I believe the world can do it too.
ReplyDeleteThis statement in my opinion shows the diversity in one another. Everyone is different. Everyone has a different ethnic background, was brought up a different way, believes in a different religon etc. You can't see these differences just from looking at someone, communication is key to learning about someone. Don't judge people after a single glance. Get to know them before you comment something about them. Or just make it easier and dont make a comment at all. Make friends not enemies. Having a conversation or communicating with someone is easy yet we think its so hard. Make a new friend by going up them and introducing yourself. Start with small talk and then ask a few simple questions then go on from there! When talking to them make sure that you are or at least look lke you are interested in what they have to say. If they see that you are iterested you will get more out of them.
ReplyDeleteEric, I completely agree with you about first impressions. I feel that a lot of people's first impressions of others can range from the extremes and this is before they have said a word to each other. I think it is humanly natural to judge anyone we come across, even if we just walk past them in a street but I think that we can improve this behaviour to meet more people.
DeleteTolerance is something we learn at a very young age, we learn not to stare or point fingers. Oddly enough we still do those exact things. No matter what the situation is, we usually end up judging someone on something about themselves.
ReplyDeleteMy actions to become more tolerant is not to expect so much from everyone. I know everyone doesn't think the same, but for such a long time always thought everyone should just understand what I think and say. Also, I'm going to befriend someone I usually shy away from.
Communicating effectively with eye contact and body language will go such a long way to meet with someone on a personal level. This might not seem much, but I believe it means a lot when someone looks at you in the eye when you're talking to one another.
Most importantly I'm going to think about what I say before i blurt it out. I never think how will someone else take what i say! It's very self centered, but it's hard to change old habits.
This statement is very "black and white" you can understand exactly what it's saying. In order to show tolerance people must fight the urge to debate with each other, many problems in this world are related to differences. People are always looking for differences, it is also much easier for us to spot the differences in one another. Most people think that difference is a bad thing, that if we just choose to ignore our differences they will go away, for example, if you were to ignore the sun would it still be there? Yes, the sun is still there but it will not be there forever though.
ReplyDeletePaul,
Deletedebate is a good thing, and obviously we need debate in order to get a point across. what i should've said was, when we debate the people debating should think about whether this debate is relevent to anything.
Danica, I can really relate to what you said about how many friends people pass up just because of judging a person too soon. I always heard the phrase don't judge a book by it's cover when I was growing up. It wasn't until I got older that I realized what that actually means. It means that no matter what you look like on the outside, good or bad, it doesn't make them good or bad on the inside.
ReplyDeleteFitsum,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely, but if the do step over that line and become disrespectful we should stand up for what we believe in. There are those people in the world that think they are superior and everyone should just see it their way and that should be that. These people usually end up being the low lives in society.
Austin-
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. We may speak the same language but we all have different individual thoughts about either the conversation or something unrelated. And because of this you might slightly slip away from the conversation at hand, which the person who you are speaking to may take it differently. Clarification and tolerance are key to understanding one another correctly.
Danica, I agree with you on what you said about everyone in college is quick to jump the gun on judging others. I think that everyone in general was really quick to judge eachother and sometimes its really dissapointing because like you said we do pass up great people. I also like and agree strongly with how you said how you can show tolerance in communication. Showing respect is a key in life and it does get you far.. respecting others opinions and respecting that they might not communicate with you on the same level as you do is something that I find very important because without it communication between people will fail and that isn't a good thing
ReplyDeleteLanguage is only a minor aspect into these quotes. Just because two people speak the same language doesn't mean that their opinions and attitudes towards something are the same if not similar. This can be applied in both way, people who speak very different languages doesn't necessarily mean that they have similar beliefs either. Language is only used to express these feelings aloud.
ReplyDeleteWhen talking about tolerance, in the ideal world we should have the same tolerance level for everyone but realistically, it changes depending on the person. Chances are that if you are not tolerating someone then someone else is finding it hard to tolerate you. This then can lead to respect and treating others how you would want to be treated yourself.
Josh,
DeleteI agree when you say just because two people speak the same language doesn't mean that they have the same attitudes as one another. Language basically means nothing, beliefs are a completely different thing. Well said mate!