“Racism is man's gravest threat to man - the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason.”
My thoughts lately have been like a spider web; tangled, twisted, and spun in all directions, yet somehow all connected. I have been deeply affected by the diversity presentation and I have not been able to find peace with everything that I have been feeling. I was profoundly troubled by how this presentation was presented. My heart immediately went out to the students placed on the stage and I was devastated that they had to "bleed" for the majority yet again, without any warning or preparation. I was appalled; I still am. I have been angry with the presenter and have tried to understand how and why he did this. I have discussed with my students, co-workers, friends and family about the event, asking their thoughts and feelings. I have been searching for answers. But my focus has not been in the right place. I have made a grave mistake, and I wish to share it with you. I believe that in order to be an effective communicator one needs to be honest, support what they have to say, be able to see and admit mistakes, be real, be active listeners and really hear what others are saying, and understand who you are speaking to (race, sex, age, abilities, cultures, religions, etc). In order for me to be effective, I want to admit my mistake to you.
Last night, I spoke with a very special person, I had never met her before. She works directly with these students that were placed on stage. She was shocked when the students were put on the stage, she asked for this not to happen prior to the event. She too has been deeply affected by this event and is still checking in with these students to be sure they are okay. As she spoke, tears flowed freely down her face, and she without realizing it, reminded me of something that I need to share with all of you. The students on the stage and their message should be the focus nothing else, not Lee Mun Wah. These brave students shared with us freely and tried to help us get a glimpse of what their lives are like as minorities. What they said was honest and from their hearts. Their messages were powerful and real. They did not lie to us, they opened their hearts. By doing this we saw their pain. They were all true to themselves, and did it in front of hundreds of people.
It is true, we all have experienced things that hurtful, and unjust. We have been hurt for reasons that we cannot change. But can you imagine being judged, simply for the color of your skin and for your very being; who you are? My daughters, are minorities. They are even minorities within their own family. What is this like for them? How do they feel when they are surrounded by people that do not look like them? When they tell me one day that they feel alone, should I become defensive and get angry and tell them that they are loved with my entire heart and soul and that I would die for them if I had to? Should I feel hurt? I should only feel hurt for them. I need to hear them and put my feelings aside. I know I will hurt them, never intentionally, but I will. My parents hurt me when they could not understand why I felt isolated within my own family even though they did all in their power not to make me feel this way. I need to realize this is THEIR hurt and accept it. We immediately think to ourselves, that we haven't done anything. We defend that we are not racist. But really that is not what is being said. What is being said is how they feel and we should listen with an open mind and an open heart.
Let us remember, what we heard at this presentation. These are their stories and they have happened, and this is how they feel. Racism exists and it hurts. They have been hurt. We can change it. We can make a difference. We can acknowledge it. We start by breaking down the barriers; not reacting, but listening. We need to hear them and hear their stories. We need to see them as not only how they identify themselves, but also as individuals. Embrace what they said and learn from them.
I would love to hear your comments. Please feel free to comment here.
I am proud of all of you. I am honored to be a part of this journey with you. Lets be honest with each other, really honest. That is how we grow. Thank you for helping me become a better educator and person.
Monica
"We immediately think to ourselves, that we haven't done anything. We defend that we are not racist. But really that is not what is being said. What is being said is how they feel and we should listen with an open mind and an open heart."
ReplyDeleteUp until this point I didn't understand the presentation. Several people have explained to me over-and-over again that the message in the speech was not to attack us about racism but to open our eyes. What you said in this blog finally made it clear to me and I really appreciate that since I too was fairly upset about the entire presentation and still am upset to a certain extent. I don't agree with everything that was said but now that I understand what exactly the message was, I feel like my anger is somewhat alleviated.
"Let us remember, what we heard at this presentation. These are their stories and they have happened, and this is how they feel. Racism exists and it hurts. They have been hurt. We can change it. We can make a difference. We can acknowledge it. We start by breaking down the barriers; not reacting, but listening. We need to hear them and hear their stories. We need to see them as not only how they identify themselves, but also as individuals. Embrace what they said and learn from them."
ReplyDeleteYes, I think that this is the best way to look at the presentation. We can say all we want about not liking how it was done, but in the end it is the pain of the students that matters & should be focused on. They need it so let us push past our feelings for their sake...Things need to change & only together can we do that by listening to one another & responding with compassion & willingness to change. This is how we build community...
Mary~
"We can acknowledge it. We start by breaking down the barriers; not reacting, but listening."
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. Most people came away from this presentation with the impression that they targeted the majority of the audience for being racist or the scapegoat of every situation that happened to these people. But in my eyes it was a very touching presentation not in the sense that I was targeted, more so in the extent that I could see life through another person's eyes.
I went in with an open mind and came out with a filled mind. Thoughts were spinning in my head just as well as your mind, Monica. It wasn't until after the presentation did I think a statement had been made. I came out thinking, "wow, we can change these types of things". This is when I heard the negativity of my classmates. In no way, shape, or form, were any of the people on stage trying to target us and say we were racists. They were simply telling people of the hidden struggles in todays day and age.
PEOPLE! Take a step back. Look at this from a new angle. Don't think we were blamed for anything. Look at it as a learning lesson. Something to improve on. Something to shock society and open our eyes too!
"They did not lie to us, they opened their hearts. By doing this we saw their pain."
ReplyDeleteThis is an EXTREMELY good point. Regardless of how 'rude' it may have been to put these kids on the spot, doing so taught us a lesson. You could have heard a pin drop in the auditorium when the people on stage let their true emotions flow. The presenter himself was frustrating- I still feel like he was a little pushy on the whole racist thing. But, what I didn't realize is that he doesn't speak on behalf of the rest of the people on stage. And by giving them the microphone, no matter how tough and shocking it was, it gave them the opportunity to tell their campus how they really feel. It gives us an opportunity as well; an opportunity to make someone's experience at CSS or anywhere a better one.
"We immediately think to ourselves, that we haven't done anything. We defend that we are not racist. But really that is not what is being said. What is being said is how they feel and we should listen with an open mind and an open heart."
ReplyDeleteYes, I totally agree with this. I have several friends who felt attacked from the presentation, and felt like they're being called racist. I had point out to them many times that the presentation was not to attack them or to finger point saying they're racist, instead it was to show us that things happen and that we should work together and change these things; coming together to make a better community.
Your comments are all so amazing. Thank you, I enjoyed reading them.
ReplyDelete