Information taken from: http://technorati.com/lifestyle/article/diversity-tolerance-through-communication-part-1/
There are many controversies currently happening around us, including the Arizona Immigration law, racial profiling, the Cordoba Mosque and the Dove movement, that inspired me to share some peaceful thoughts, and not get into the debate of who is right and who is wrong or even take sides. Hopefully, I'll be able to start a healthy dialog.
The US is a great country - if not the greatest; the founding fathers built it on the spirit of human rights, tolerance, and acceptance of all differences. The US is built on diversity, on a combination of flavors to strengthen the foundation of this country, one flavor enhances the other.
One doesn’t have to agree or like everyone, but one has to treat everyone and every person with respect and equality.What someone thinks is their business, how they act it out is what is important as it concerns others. Having flexibility to integrate is what will get us all to the safe side of the river.
Prejudice is a natural human reaction, we all have distrust and fear from people that don’t look like us or are different from ourselves. Confronting our belief system and find our biases becomes crucial so we can make smart choices about our behavior. Healthy conflicts bring positive changes, effective communications provide safe environment to discuss conflicts and differences. Effective communications creates tolerance, which creates acceptance and respect; both are key solutions to most of our problems.
When people are asked what they think represents difficult communications with others, the answers include:
People that get angry for no reason
People with heavy accents
People that talk all the time and don’t listen
People that listen to us - then re-arrange our words the way they want to understand them
People that always think they are right
People with egos
People that are indirect.
People assume that people that are different from them either by color, age, race, religion, gender, political views are difficult to communicate with, and this is where the communications’ barriers start erecting.
Just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean that we understand each other, perhaps because of factors like where or the way we grew up, the kind of work we do, or our ethnicity, religion and language origin.
But we can effectively communicate and bridge the gaps to a diverse world, and better understand and respect each other words, feelings, thoughts and actions. Effective communication has many forms; the most practical forms are dialog and debate.
Dialog is a collection of skills we communicate with to develop understanding and trust. Dialog is conducted between two people, or a group of people. Dialog is a non judgmental, two-way conversation. It is about putting ourselves in the other person's shoes and trying to feel how they feel. It is about developing sets of shared assumptions to use as a foundation to work together to find a way to agree in a non combative way.
While in a debate, we try to win. We concentrate on the weakness of our opponent, on what is wrong with their argument, to prove why our position is right. In a debate we stand our ground, defend our point of view and criticize other perspectives. The goal is to win, but at the end no one really wins.
It is important to understand the difference between dialog that respects both sides, and debate where the belief is that only one opinion is right, and of course it is ours.
In a perfect diverse world, people develop strong opinions. Let their feelings emerge through the process of dialog, but not in a way to cause conflict or in a way to prevent moving forward.
Hmmm....What do you think? Ponder on this statement, "Just because we speak the same language doesn’t mean that we understand each other, perhaps because of factors like where or the way we grew up, the kind of work we do, or our ethnicity, religion and language origin. But we can effectively communicate and bridge the gaps to a diverse world, and better understand and respect each other words, feelings, thoughts and actions. Effective communication has many forms; the most practical forms are dialog and debate."
Read more: http://technorati.com/lifestyle/article/diversity-tolerance-through-communication-part-1/#ixzz16of8QvT4
I completely agree with that final statement. I grew up in a very sheltered, and prejudice environment, which I believe caused me to have certain views on different types of people. When I came to CSS, my eyes were opened and I realized that it is not right to judge people just because they have some differences. I think that it is very very important to find common ground with the people you are initially meeting no matter how they are. In my small town that I came from I was not exposed to people of color, but when I came to CSS I met some people of color and if I would have been close minded when meeting them I don’t think that I would have the friends that I do today. I feel that with the short time that I have been here at CSS, I have changed the way I interact with different people. My next goal is to open the minds of the people at home that filled my head with lies and rumors about different people.
ReplyDeleteMaggie Carlson
I think this statement is very accurate. Often times it isn't easy to understand each other. Like this quote says, it becomes difficult because we are different in many ways. These differences should not be seen as barriers. They should be seen as opportunities for knowledge and then understanding. With differences, we can still communicate effectively. Much like the definition of dialog, we should focus on listening and forming a two-way conversation rather than a debate in which it turns into an argument.
ReplyDeleteMichelle Fischer
I also agree with that statement. Sometimes when people talk, they might as well both be talking different languages because they're not even really listening to each other. A lot of people have hard times listening because they're too focused on what they're going to say next or what they can say to top what was just said. You need to be an effective listener too; not just speaker. There are a lot of reasons why people struggle in effective communication. We all just need to understand where we each come from and why we stand from where we do to really understand someone else's point of view. It's hard sometimes to put yourself in someone else's shoes, but it really does help. You won't always understand why someone believes or feels the way they do, but it's important to just accept it. It doesn't mean you need to agree with it, but everyone feels a certain way for a reason.
ReplyDeleteKristin Sorensen
Dialog & debate are absolutely the ways to bring people closer together, though I'd suggest that we have a dialog before engaging in a debate for the sake of being better informed & less at odds with one another right away. There is no way the day to day interactions that occur will be enough to bring us together. A tight-knit community coupled with diversity has to be constructed through these types of communication. I love to speak to various people about my religion as well as the other things that place me into the minority category (my past, my values, my though process & likes, etc), but I also love to listen to what others have to say. I believe that in this society we have a great need to communicate with one another which has been continually ignored unless problems arise. We NEED to talk about our differences, but after establishing common ground. It will take a lot of effort from all sides, but that effort will give rise to great things. I've met so many wonderful people in the past few years who are extremely unique: an American with Pakistani heritage who has lived with his feet in two opposite worlds, an Egyptian-American medical student who has so many interesting qualities, a Somali taking time to learn in Egypt & now America who has seen so many perspectives in all these places, a Kenyan wife who is incredibly gentle & loving toward everyone, a deaf instructor with a compassionate heart and open mind...& the list goes on. I can't even begin to explain how much I've enjoyed meeting all these people. Meeting them isn't even a guarantee that I could witness from them what I have. It's only because they were all willing to have a conversation. Some of these people I have argued heatedly with while others I have more so observed while still others I have bonded with. In this world, we are all different, but we all have the ability to interact. Are we willing to overstep boundaries? Are we ready to stop running & start listening & connecting? I think we're always ready, but it's all up to us. We have to be willing to be uncomfortable at times & it may seem hopeless...but I believe that our willingness will be well worth our while.
ReplyDeleteMary~
I believe that in order for us to accept each others differences we need to try to understand where the other person is coming from in all aspects of their life. Communication is important because you are able to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their beliefs and values. I think that the more we attempt to understand others the more we are able to respect the differences and ultimetly respect ourselves. Differences make the world go 'round if you really think about it. You have to be willing to accept others and gain knowledge about the outside world in order to grow as an individual.
ReplyDeleteTia Lindberg
I agree with the last paragraph, an example with not being able to understand another person was this summer. I worked with a young woman who has down syndrome and at first I could not understand her at all and I would kindly ask her to repeat the story and after the second or third time she would just get upset and say "forget it." Then once I started to really listen to her and try my best to understand it I did not have to ask her to repeat herself as much. It was still hard but I could work through it. I had to be a really good listener because she would also stutter, and it would be hard for her to get the word out, and even if I knew what she was trying to say I would wait and listen until she finished her own word, because I did not want her to feel stupid or like I wasn't listening to her. Everyone has differences and that makes it hard to understand each other but if you have an open communication with everyone you would be able to understand them and where they are coming from.
ReplyDeleteKatelyn Geib
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ReplyDeleteI think that for us to accept others differences that we need to really get to know the person before you can judge them. Not knowing about someone when you first meet them and going into a lot of detail with that person could turn out bad because you dont know anything about them. When you first meet someone by any means you should not just ask them a million questions that might offend them but maybe just say you want to know a little bit more about them and if thats alright with them then as appropriate questions. Yeah people are going to be curious about things if you and another person have many differences but you have to understand the person before you judge them so that you open your mind
ReplyDeleteNikki Darker
I also really like the last statement. Just because we all can understand each other verbally doesnt mean we actually understand what they are about. in order to really understand we need to get to know the person or people. Just having a good conversation with someone will give you an inside on there life and a little abblility to tell if you like them or understand them. We should also take a look at others culutres to understand a little more about the people or persons culture.
ReplyDeleteIn response to Katelyn:
ReplyDeleteI really liked that you shared that story! I've been in similar situations & it really pays off to be patient & willing to try to communicate. I think we can meet some pretty amazing people if we just take those extra steps.
The above comment couldn't be any more rational. To echo what Mary said, though, there should definitely be dialogue before debate. Also, to add to the misunderstandings that we experience even in conversations involving our own language, I must say that with the growing use of texting and emailing as a main source of communication, many times things become very misinterpretated. Monica, in fact, shared her experience in class in which a text was misunderstood and ultimately resulted in her friend somehow becoming frustrated to the point where she decided to move out.
ReplyDeleteListening and doing our best to understand is how we will make dialogue and debate most effective. Those are the most effective means of communicating but we cannot make any progress by means of them if we do not listen and interpret what is actually being said.
The thing about communication is we can all be listening to someone talk but are we really understanding. When some one is talking we need to try and understand what they are going through. Sometimes that means forgetting about what everyone thinks and doing what you believe in. I think you just have to really stop what your doing and realize your conversation is important and you can always learn something new from any one!
ReplyDeleteKatelyn~
ReplyDeleteI really loved how you shared your story and how you really stopped and worked hard to be able to communicate better. I really wish others could realize how important it is just to try a little harder. When you give someone a little more time of your day...... you learn so much about the other person and can except each others difference. SOmetimes learning others difference makes you a stronger and better person because it broadens your horizons.
Maggie Dolan
Tia-
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. It is sometimes hard but it is important to try your best to look at situations and life from other people's point of view. Everyone comes from somewhere else, and there are so many different ways that we are all different. We need to understand and accept everyone's in order to have effective communication.
Kristin Sorensen
I agree with Nikki, and the idea that yeah, we want to get to know others but when you first meet them you have to have a good sense of what to ask them and how deep the conversation should go. First impressions do make a big difference but its not always what you should base them on.
ReplyDeleteKatelyn Geib
I agree with the final statement as well, because everyone is different for a reason. If everyone was the same there would be such thing as personality or culture none of it would exist. I grew up mostly in a white neighborhood and went to a primary white school. It was all white, but I never taught to be racist or prejudice. My parents weren’t like that, they protected me from drugs and guns and things but always wanted me to treat everyone with respect. So coming to CSS and seeing the many different minorities to me was rather cool because I got to meet new people and learn many different things. But like the statement says just because we might all speak the same language doesn’t mean we will understand that person individually.
ReplyDeleteJake Turkowski
Like everyone else I will say the last statement was powerful. Everyone is different for a reason like Jake said. I grew up in multiple schools with many diverse minorities. So from a young age I established attitudes for different types of people. My parents always told me to look past the appearance and accept people no matter what background they may come from. I will say many groups have established their own stereotypes and sadly many of these groups follow these. While some are mad that they have a stereotype it is the rest of the people in their minority that ruin for them and that is a big reason why people judge any minority besides your own. CSS is definitely less diverse than my high school or elementary's I attended. Some of my closest friends from home are black or asian or of Philippine heritage. It hurts to see people discriminate at CSS because I know if my friends were here it would be them getting hurt...
ReplyDeleteJosh Kellner
As Maggie talked about, many people may seem to be listening, but they really may not understand you. Communication goes beyond listening, and I believe that in order to have effective communication-whether it is debate or dialogue- one needs to look at other people’s stand-point rather than just their own. This is where truly understanding what someone is saying comes in. If it were in a debate, this doesn’t mean that you have to change your own stand-point, but you need to understand other people in order to “bridge the gaps.” I think that in order to have effective communication in dialogue, one must not center the conversation on themselves. They should see what other people think too.
ReplyDeleteLauren Scharp
I agree with the statement because I grew up in a Native American culture, I had to learn the language, how to dress, and how to act. I was very different than everyone because I’m light skinned, I don’t talk like an Indian should and dress completely different. Maybe it’s because I moved away from the culture and a new home. Going back to the reservation is hard for me because I feel like I’m not a part of it anymore so yeah I do agree with that statement Monica!
ReplyDeleteKayla Heisler
I agree with this statement, for it is hard for anyone to understand how any other would feel. However although we may never truly know how they feel we can at least attempt to understand them and appreciate our differences. I was intrique by the debate statement of how we focus on other weaknesses but not their strong argument,just so we can better ourseleves.
ReplyDelete